My art school babe with your palette-knives and brushes,
   painted face, Egyptian eye-brows and bright red lips
   Pale white make-up, tight black skirts like Juliette Greco
   And there's me quoting pretentious chat up lines
   from Marcel Proust, Jean Cocteau and Jean-Paul Sartre
  
   Sitting by a gasfire in a drafty bedsit
   the art school babe quotes William Blake and she rolls a joint
   And I think "Oh oh, I've scored", start to make myself at home
   But the room starts moving as she starts to get me stoned
  
   I close my eyes and give in, the room goes in a spin
   My lips are dry, I wander around with a ridiculous grin
   I grovel on the floor, I think "Yeah I think I can make her"
   Then I wake up and realize I've been kissing the refrigerator
  
   Art school chaps with creative grand illusions
   My sketch pad at the ready, my eager charcoal in my hand
   Boring the world for hours with political theories
   just to impress anyone who listens while my art school babe
   just puts another inch of make-up on her face
  
   And she says to me:
   "Arty farty, you'll never fool your Auntie
   who knew you when you picked your nose and wet your pants"
   How did she know that?
   Arty farty, I try to throw a party
   to impress my peers I struck a creative stance
  
   Art school cat, ah, I was really on a mission
   I made my play for my art school babe
   By humming jazz tunes with words by Furlinghetti
   I thought I was ever so cool,
   but I was really such an obvious, pretentious, irritating little fool
   for my art school babe