When I was a boy
  There was no limit to what I could eat
  Shake after shake after shake after shake
  Followed by all kinds of red meat
  Metabolism runnin' around so fast
  My body never gained to weight
  That pissed off all my Momma's friends
  And made my big-boned sister irate
  But now I'm a man
  And all that frolicking has caused my ego to hurt
  'Cause even when I'm in the shower alone
  I'm to embarrased to remove my shirt
    What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
  Made a fat mother fucker outta me
  What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
  Made a fat mother fucker outta me
  And all them cookies I been munching lately
  My feets are becoming difficult to see
    I believe it was my Daddy
  Who led me to this eating disease
  By calling me "The Little Candy Ass"
  When I couldn't finish a burger with cheese
  Or maybe it was my Momma
  Who got me addicted to all the wrong foods
  Only when I gobbled down every chicken cutlet
  Would I get to see Momma's good moods
  They said eat this, they said eat that
  To stay skinny there was no chance
  And now when I walk I hear corduroy
  Even though I ain't wearing pants
    What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
  You fat fuck, You fat fuck
  Made a fat mother fucker outta me
  What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
  You fat fuck, You fat fuck
  Made a fat mother fucker outta me
  And all that ice cream I been eating lately
  My chins alone weight 203
    The diet starts tomorrow!
  I have a grapefruit for breakfast
  For lunch a bown of white rice
  Dinnertime it's a saltless potato
  I ain't allowed no spice
  If this diet's gonna work
  Tonight I can't eat no more
  "Just go to sleep," I say to myself
  As I close the bedroom door
  Two in the morning, I wake up to piss
  My belly's hungry and achin'
  Tiptoe to the kitchen, fuck the diet
  Bring on the chips flavored with bacon
    What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
  Made a fat mother fucker outta me
  What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
  Made a fat mother fucker outta me
  And all them crumb-cakes I been eating lately